Anyone else always find the hearts and flowers of Valentine’s Day a bit of a struggle? Trying not to get caught up in it all while also secretly hoping for a treat (but a nice one…not supermarket roses and red underwear!). I have this every year so instead of jumping on the commercial bandwagon I’ve decided to turn this week into a exploration of self love. I thought I’d share my process so you can join the Self Love Club too.
Everyday this week over on Instagram I’ve been sharing the theme that I’m working on that day. The thing I want to explore and I’d love to hear your experiences with that feeling too. I’ve pulled together all the posts here so we’ve all got this to check back in with at any point we may need too
Firstly? Comparison
One of the biggest things I have trouble with.
Comparing myself in business, body, mind and lifestyle with those around me. Whether online or in real life I often find comparison sneaking into my day
So today? I’m questioning how I can let that comparison affect me when I don’t know the full story? Am I really comparing true fact or is based off of someone’s highlight reel? Is that comparison stopping me from achieving or enjoying something and if so how can I change that outcome? By questioning the origin of the comparison thoughts and what its affecting I find it much easier to stop the spiral of comparison and actually take some use from it.
What’s your experience of comparison? How does it affect you?
Also there’s a podcast I found super helpful for reassessing my relationship with comparison – The Little Chapters
It’s a big one I know, but it follows on so nicely from assessing the relationship with comparison.
How often do we all feel like we are not enough? Not strong enough, not pretty enough, not clever enough.
But where do these thoughts come from? Questioning this is also such a strong way to look at the feelings. I find by writing and taking the time to be rather than dwell I can question the root of the thought.
And then?….. I make a list of all the things that prove that thought wrong. All the times I have most definitely been enough. As a self effacing Brit it can seem like a very weird thing to do but giving yourself a pat on the back is so so necessary and so important to boost that self worth and love
Self love isn’t all about the mind, it is also encompassing the body and the soul. Seeing our entire being in unity where we often see its constituent parts.
I was never really any active person until yoga got me. Not doing exercise or moving my body through enjoyment foremost anyway. It was always from an aesthetic stand point, from that first legs, bum, tums class at the age of 16 to numerous ‘bikini body’ plans. I’ve never really had a bad relationship with it but it was also never a place of respect and love. That was until yoga and that changed my relationship with my body. I marvel at it everyday, what it can achieve, what it does without me telling it to, how it houses my soul and my brain and lets me achieve what I put my mind too.
I know relationships with bodies are not as easy as changing a mindset or moving your body once or going to one yoga class. It takes work, energy and time. But we can’t get to a destination without starting the journey.
I am a firm believer in movement being the route for a lot of mind, body and soul work and so that is where I start when I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps. I find a form of movement that speaks to me that week it may be dancing, yoga, weight lifting….anything really…..and then set a goal involving that movement for the week.
It’s normally pretty achievable but something new and this gives me the motivation to move and you know what? Setting an achievable goal, moving a certain number of times, feeling more confident in a pose, completing a few more reps, means I have something to celebrate my body for.
To say thank you to my body for, because ultimately we say thank you to those who open doors for us, but we don’t say thank you to the body that walks us through that door.
Fear of looking stupid……I’m going to say I’m not the only one to have had this fear over the years, it is pretty much at epidemic proportions. Not wanting to be embarrassed about saying or doing the wrong thing, basically not being myself. Instead fitting into another shell of myself influenced by those around and those watching.
It’s taken me a long time to get there and I still falter pretty much every week but I really am trying to live life like noone is watching (the irony of writing about this on Instagram is not lost on me…) Not only making my own decisions for me but trying to be myself as much as possible. The kooky singing in the car, slightly crazy Georgie.
I think we so often play roles in our external lives (which sometimes are necessary) and these roles have probably been there since school that it can be hard to figure out what being yourself is.
The way I’ve slowly tried to figure it out? Trying to be more of the at home me, outside. Around our family, friends, partner, dog we are often the most off guard we ever our, so why not try taking that version of you outside. It can be scary and may be a little full on to do it all at once but just bring tiny parts of at home outside.
Ways I started to do this?
Actually told people what I’d been up to at the weekend and being proud of it – not saying I’d been out all night drinking when I’d actually been at home with a bottle of wine and a gossip girl marathon!
Not being afraid to disagree with someone and trying to switch off the people pleasing mechanism
Saying no to things I felt like I should do so I could actually do what I wanted to and never had the time for instead
And finally…. believe in yourself
You are unique
Beautifully so
No one else has your features
Your smile
Your thoughts
Your memories
No one else has walked the path that your feet have taken
Discovered all the things you have
Explored everything you have
No one else is you
And that
Above anything else is worth celebrating and loving